


Keep Watching My Back

by accidentallyanoctopus



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout: New Vegas
Genre: (Obviously), Angst, Angst with a moderately happy ending, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Nonbinary Character, Other, Pre-Relationship, Rex is a Good Boy, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-18
Updated: 2017-08-18
Packaged: 2018-12-17 01:48:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11841435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/accidentallyanoctopus/pseuds/accidentallyanoctopus
Summary: Boone thinks there's nothing left for him in this world, that he doesn't deserve to live. Tate tries to prove otherwise.





	Keep Watching My Back

**Author's Note:**

> I saw someone post a headcanon on Tumblr about Boone attempting suicide and the Courier stopping him, so I had to embellish that concept with my own Courier OC. 
> 
> Yes, Tate is non-binary, and their pronouns are they/them/theirs.

It wasn't the first time Tate had been woken up by Rex, but from the moment they opened their eyes, they knew something was off. The cyborg dog whined at them, pawing at their sleeping bag until Tate gently pushed him away.

“What is it, boy?” Tate sat up blearily, rubbing the sleep out of their eyes. “I don't think it's time for me to take watch yet...”

Rex looked at them with pleading eyes, continuing to whine loudly. Tate had never seen the dog so upset. There had to be something terribly wrong.

“Okay, okay, Rex, I'm coming,” Tate said with a yawn. They kicked the sleeping bag away as they stood up, pulling on their jeans and grabbing their shotgun. Tate sure hoped this wasn't a false alarm, or even worse, something actually dangerous. The latter didn't seem likely, as they couldn't hear gunfire from Boone, who was taking first watch.

“This better be important, Rex.” The dog whined again as they exited the tent together. Tate looked around. Well, everything seemed to be normal. No enemies that they could see, and the sky was cloudless, so no storms on the horizon. They looked up to the ridge where Boone had set up to watch for enemies and monsters, and that's when they started to get nervous. Boone was nowhere in sight. Oh well, maybe he had gone to take a piss or something. Rex was still whining, and started to tug at Tate's pantsleg with his teeth.

“Seriously, what the hell is the matter?” As if the dog could answer them, but Tate was getting frustrated. Clearly something was upsetting him, but they had absolutely no idea what it was. Rex walked off in the direction of the ridge, looking behind him at Tate and whining yet again. Clearly he wanted them to follow him.

Tate sighed. Well, Rex wouldn't bother them like this if it wasn't important. They followed Rex up the ridge and down over the other side. Tate scanned the area. Well, there was Boone, sitting on the ground holding something up to his face. In the darkness, they couldn't make out what the item was until they heard the telltale click of a rifle's safety being disabled.

Everything became clear in that moment, and Tate's heart nearly stopped. They dropped their own rifle and bolted over to Boone, practically tackling him as they pulled the rifle from his hands. The rifle went off, almost grazing Tate's ear as it was flung into the air. It landed several feet away, and Boone immediately started to try and go get it.

“NO!” Tate pinned Boone to the ground. Their mind was reeling, trying to make sense of what had just happened. Had they really seen Boone attempting to kill himself? They knew Boone was deeply upset about what had happened to his wife and unborn child, that he had other demons in his past, but he had never seemed the type to do something so irrational. In fact, it was usually Boone being the one to tell Tate to stop being impulsive and careless.  
Boone struggled under them, cursing as he tried to break free of Tate's grasp. It was useless; Tate may have been quite a bit shorter than Boone, but when it came to physical strength, they had Boone beat. Eventually, he gave up, flopping limply against the ground.

Tate slowly rose to their feet, making sure to stay within reach of Boone so they could tackle him again if he tried to make another dash for the rifle. The two of them stayed silent for what seemed like hours. Tate didn't know what to say. They had just stopped the person they considered one of their best friends from killing himself. Surprisingly, Boone was the first one to speak

“It's not worth it.” His voice was calm, but there was a raw edge to it, like he was desperately trying not to cry. Tate selfishly hoped he didn't. That would be just as upsetting as seeing Boone try and kill himself, maybe even more so. God, they needed a drink right now.

“What does that mean?” They tried to keep their voice steady, but it just wasn't possible. They felt so hurt and angry and confused. “What's not worth it? What the hell does that mean?”

“Living. It's just not worth it.”

Tate was almost crying themselves now. Rex walked over and leaned his head against their thigh, as if sensing their distress.

“And after what I've done, I don't exactly deserve it.” Boone rose shakily into a sitting position, still turned away from Tate.

“That's bullshit.” The words were immediate, they didn't even have to think about it. Tate took a deep breath before speaking again. “That's bullshit, Boone, and you know it.”

Boone finally turned to look at them. He was crying now, silently, and he was shaking even harder. “You don't know that. You don't know what I've done.” Tate wanted to punch him, or to pull him into their arms and never let go, they weren't sure which.

“You're right, I don't. But I'm damn sure it doesn't mean you deserve to die.”

“I've killed people, Tate. Innocent people. People who didn't deserve to die. And I just can't stand just waiting here for fate to drop the hammer, to punish me for what I've done. It's not worth it. I'm done.”

“Boone...” Tate didn't know what Boone was talking about, but they knew that this was way bigger than Carla's death. This was something that had probably been eating at him for years now, haunting his every moment. They couldn't even begin to comprehend how that must feel, to regret something so deeply. Even alcohol couldn't make him forget, probably.

Gently pushing Rex out of the way, Tate moved to sit beside Boone. They took another deep breath before speaking again. “Do you want to tell me about it? What happened?”

To their surprise, Boone nodded. “Yeah. You should...I should've told you a long time ago.”

After Boone had finished talking, Tate gently rested a hand on his shoulder. “Boone...it wasn't all your fault. You were just following orders. You deserve to live, to have a second chance.”

Boone sighed. “Carla...she said that, too. I almost believed her. But then she was taken from me, and I...Tate, I just...”

“She loved you, Boone. You know she did. And that proves that you can do good things. If you can make someone happy, you deserve to be happy too. Or, if not to be happy, at least to keep trying.” Tate hoped that what they were saying was helpful. They vaguely remembered that, a long time ago, when they were upset, someone would talk with them like this, quiet and contemplative, comforting them.

Boone looked at them again. “You think that? You really think I'm worth having around?”

Tate smiled. “Yeah, of course! I need someone to keep watching my back after all, don't I? Keep me out of trouble?”

Boone almost smiled back. “You're right. God knows what you'd be getting yourself into if I wasn't around.”

They grinned even wider. “You're a good friend, Boone. I'd be real disappointed if we didn't get to hang out together anymore.”

Boone nodded. “Yeah, me too.”

They sat there for a long time, just talking, until the sun started to peek over the distant mountains. And after all that happened that night, Tate hoped that Boone would always be there to keep watching their back, like good friends do.


End file.
